


Love and Hate

by Dramionefan1122



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-13
Updated: 2019-11-11
Packaged: 2020-08-20 11:14:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,247
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20226934
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dramionefan1122/pseuds/Dramionefan1122
Summary: A sequel to Dramione: She’s Mine





	1. Chapter 1

A/N I’ve just started writing this story, the first chapter should be up soon


	2. Chapter 2

A/N This is the sequel to my book Dramione: She's Mine, this book won't make much sense if you haven't read the last one. I hope you enjoy this book

Hermione's POV

He couldn't be gone...

That's what I told myself everyday for two years, every day I thought about him. I couldn't help but think about him. No matter what.

By now I had graduated from Hogwarts and I moved back into my room in my parent's house. After a month or two I was offered a job from the Ministry. I turned down the offer, I couldn't focus on anything because my mind kept wandering back to him. We weren't even that close (I'd say we were hardly friends), yet I missed him terribly and felt as if it were my fault he was gone. It felt like I was missing something, like a piece of me died when he died.

There was a light knock at the door.

"Hermione? Can I come in?" Came Harry's voice from the other side of the door. I cringed slightly at how worried his voice sounded.

I reluctantly got up, unlocked my door and let him in. He pulled me into a hug.

"I'm worried about you 'Mione"

I didn't say anything back. I couldn't say anything, my mouth seemed to be glued shut.

He let go of me, "You need to eat something, you're getting really thin"

Again I said nothing. I still couldn't say anything.

I didn't need to eat, I was surviving just fine without food.

"Hermione, are you going to talk to me or am I just talking to myself"

"You're talking to yourself" I finally managed to whisper with a weak smile. My throat was dry from the lack of use. I had stopped screaming long ago and just cried silently instead.

Harry chuckled little at this. He seemed relived that I spoke.

"Can I take you out for lunch?"

I shook my head. I didn't want food. I didn't need food. I didn't deserve food. It was my fault, I was the one that made him jump...

"Come on, you need to get out of this house. How long has it been since you last went outside?" He questioned.

"Nearly a year" I whispered, I wasn't used to talking so my voice came out quiet and raspy.

"Hermione, please. This isn't good for you, you need to at least eat something"

I shook my head again. I refused to eat.

He raked his fingers through his messy black hair, "Look, I know you're still sad about Malfoy but you can't isolate yourself from everyone and starve because of it. It wasn't your fault and you're smart enough to know that. Just come out with me and Gin for lunch, just this one time and if you hate it I promise you don't have to do it again, okay?"

"I don't want to", I looked up into his eyes and saw sadness and frustration.

"I'll get Ginny to drag you out of this room if I have to, I hate seeing you waste away in here"

"I'm fine Harry…"

"STOP TELLING ME YOU'RE FINE, YOU'RE VERY CLEARLY NOT! YOU'RE SLOWLY KILLING YOURSELF FOR MERLINS SAKE!"

I stared at him, tears in my eyes.

He took a deep breath, "Hermione, please." He begged, "Just once, that's it. Okay?"

I shook my head, a tear escaped and rolled down my cheek.

He sighed, "Is there anything I can do to make you happy?"

I looked down at my feet, "Bring Draco back…"

Blaise's POV

"Well Potter, I'll go over there and try to get her out, since you failed horribly"

He shrugged, "You can try, but I doubt she'll listen to you"

"I'll just pick her up and take her outside, she's to weak to stop me and she doesn't keep her wand on her"

"Yeah, good luck with that" Potter scoffed

I opened her door, picked her up and put her over my shoulder, "You're going outside whether you want to or not"

She was struggling and trying to get down but I didn't let go

"Blaise, don't. Please let me go" She said as she struggled more

"No and you're gonna eat something as well"

I opened the door and put her down on the dead grass.

"Wow, I didn't think you were serious" Potter said as he walked over to Hermione and offered his hand to help her get up

"I'm sorry 'Mione but that was the only way to get you out" I apologised

She turned towards the door, "let me go back"

"You need to eat. I'd much rather you come willingly but I can pick you up again if I really wanted to"

She tried to walk back inside but Potter blocked the doorway. She raised her hand and clutched her chest, heaving for air.

Hermione's POV

My thoughts stared to accelerate inside my head. I wanted them to slow down so I could breathe but they won't. My breaths came in gasps and I felt like l was going to black out. My heart was hammering inside my chest. The room spun and I fell to the ground, trying to make everything slow to something my brain and body could cope with. I felt so sick, I felt like I was going to vomit.

I couldn't stop the tears that escaped my eyes, nor could I stop the shaking that consumed my body. I could hear voices in the distance, calling my name but it just seemed to cloud my mind more.

'I'm going to die.' I thought weakly. I wasn't scared. I didn't mind. I welcomed the pain, the suffering. I welcomed the end with open arms.

A voice broke through the cloud that held my mind captive, an image appeared, distant and fuzzy around the edges. It was a memory.

"I'm sorry... Goodbye Hermione."He whispered. I recognised the voice, I recognised the memory too.

It was Draco, before he died. Before he took his life due to my mistakes...

My head started to dull.

Then everything turned black.

When I woke up I was back in the safety of my house.

"'Mione!" Harry yelled "Thank merlin you're okay", he tried to hug me

I held my hands in front of me to stop him, "Don't take me back outside" I whimperd

"It's okay, I won't"

"I-I tried to tell him not to, I tried to tell him to let me go" Tears started forming, "He wouldn't listen"

Harry put his arm around me, "It's okay now. We won't force you out again, but promise me you'll go outside when you're ready"

Tears started rolling down my cheeks, "I'll never be ready..."


	3. Chapter 3

Hermione's POV

I lay in my bed, refusing to give in to the sleepiness that was trying to drag me into its void. Every time I slept I would dream about him and it was too painful to wake up and realise he was gone.

"Hey 'Mione, did you miss me?"

I looked around my room.

I was alone.

"I have to say, I'm a little disappointed. I thought you could've found a way to stop me before I jumped, being the brightest witch of your age and all, but I guess I was wrong"

I stood up and opened the door.

Still no one.

"Don't you recognise me?"

This time the voice was clearly coming from behind me.

I turned around only to find the blonde ferret that was supposedly dead, casually lounging on my bed.

I was at a loss for words.

He smirked at me, "No hello?"

How?

How is here?

How do I talk to him?

Should I talk to him?

How can I still call myself sane?

"You used to be so talkative" He got off my bed and walked towards me until his lips were inches away from mine, "Come on 'Mione, haven't you got anything to say to me?" He whispered into my ear

Ginny's POV

I apparated to the alley next to Hermione's paren't house.

I was worried to see what state she was in, Harry told me she had passed out when he and Blaise tried to get her outside.

"Gin!" She ran over to me as I neared her front door

"Hey, I just though I'd come and check on you but you seem to be doing better than I thought."

She gave me a smile but it seemed forced and had an insane feel to it.

"Yeah, he told me I should start eating and going outside again"

"And you actually listened to him?" I thought Harry said she refused to go outside

"I know I haven't in the past, but I guess I had a change of heart" She shrugged, did a little spin and skipped back inside.

She's acting like Luna, that's not a good sign.

I followed her into her surprisingly clean home and found her staring at a blank wall.

"You okay 'Mione?"

She turned to face me.

"Yeah, I was just talking to him", she said pointing at the wall

Maybe she wasn't as fine as I had first thought, "You were talking to the wall?"

She giggled, "No, of course not. Don't be ridiculous Gin"

"Yeah. Right"

She made her way to her kitchen and opened the fridge, "Do you want anything?"

"No thanks"

Hermione's POV

"What's Weaslette's excuse to check on you" Draco asked from behind me while I looked through my fridge for something to eat

"She's my friend Draco, she doesn't need an excuse"

"But she's taking up our time together"

"I know but I need time for my friends as well"

He scoffed, "You've got me, you don't need friends"

I sat on the counter and started swinging my legs back and forth, "I've really missed you, you know. Why didn't you come earlier?"

He sighed, "I couldn't, you weren't ready"

"Why wasn't I ready?!" I yelled, "Do you have any idea what I went through!?"

"Hermione, please calm down"

"DON'T ASK ME TO CALM DOWN, I'M PERFECTLY CALM ALREADY" tears started streaming down my face but I didn't bother to wipe them away as I walked back into the living room and sat down next to Ginny on the couch.

"What's wrong? Who were you shouting at?" She asked at the sight of my teary face

I let out a shrill laugh, "Nothing's wrong. Why would anything be wrong? I wasn't shouting. I don't know what you're talking about"

"Hermione, please tell me what's going on"

I smiled at her, or at least I tried to,"There's nothing going, everything's fine"

Draco finally came back out of the kitchen and sat down beside me, "I wish I could've come sooner, I'm sorry"

I ignored him

He pressed his lips to my neck, "Come on 'Mione, I said I'm sorry"

"Leave me alone" I mumbled

Ginny gave me a confused look, "Sorry?"

"Not you Gin. Him"

"Right, okay then. Well I need to go, I told Harry I'd be back by now" She stood up, "I'm glad you're feeling a bit better"

"Please don't leave me alone with him"

She sighed, "Sorry, but I have to go"

"Draco!?" I yelled, "This isn't funny! Stop hiding!"

He had disappeared as soon as Ginny disapparated. I couldn't find him anywhere.

"Draco! Don't you dare leave me again!"

At this point I was on the verge of tears. How could he do this to me!? I just got him back and now he's leaving me again!

I collapsed onto the floor, a sobbing mess

"Are you sorry?" he asked softly

I couldn't see him

"Don't go" I tried to say through my sobs

"Hermione. Are you sorry or not" His voice was stern this time as he demanded an answer from me

I kept sobbing, "Yes! Yes, I'm fucking sorry! Just please don't leave me again!"

I felt his strong arms encircle me and held me close to his chest.

"I'll never leave you, you're my mate"

We were laying next to each other in my bed, and before you ask, no, we didn't do anything

"'Mione, do you want to try something? I know you haven't exactly been emotionally stable recently and there's something that can help."

I turned to look up at the ceiling, "I'm fine Draco, I don't need any of your spells or potions"

"Just try it. For me?" He batted his eyes at me

"Fine" I said, unable to resist his beautiful silver eyes

He got up off the bed and held out a hand for me to take, "M'lady"

I giggled, "Why thank you kind sir"

He led me to the bathroom and told me to wait while he got something.

When he came back he was holding one of my kitchen knives

"Draco, why are you holding a knife?"

...To Be Continued...


	4. Chapter 3

Hermione's POV

"Just trust me. Hold out your wrist"

I was terrified. He said he wanted to help me and now he's holding a fucking knife

He gently took my arm and held it still, "It'll help you, I promise"

"No. Draco stop" I pleaded

The knife was millimetres from my wrist.

"Shhh, it's okay 'Mione. It'll help

He pressed the blade into my skin and cut

...A month later...

I looked down at the scars on my wrists and ran my fingers over them.

I missed the wonderfull pain that I felt with each cut

"I need more, Draco"

"Okay, I'll get it, you go wait in the bathroom"

I was desperate for more.

He finally came with the knife.

"Please" I begged

He sat down next to me and started cutting.

He'd done more than usual this time.

There was blood everywhere.

"Feeling better?" Draco asked

I nodded, I did feel better. The pain was comforting.

"Good, just one more and we can be truly together"

He pressed the knife in once more.

As more blood flowed out I began to feel more and more lightheaded.

He stroked my cheek as I lay on the cold, blood covered floor "Close your eyes 'Mione, It'll all be better soon" Draco said quietly

So I did. I shut my eyes and let the pain carry me away...

Blaise's POV

Ginny had told me about her last visit with Hermione. We had had decided it would be best to leave her alone for a while, to see if she'd calm down.

It was probably just the fresh air going to her head.

I knocked on her front door.

"'Mione?" I shouted at the door, "Are you home?"

I twisted the door handle. It was unlocked.

"Hermione?"

She wasn't in her bedroom, or the lounge, or the kitchen.

I was about to check her parent's room but as I passed the bathroom I heard a faint whimper.

I tried the handle, it wouldn't budge.

"Hermione! Are you in there?!"

The only reply I got was silence

"Alohomora"

I opened the door

"Shit, shit, SHIT"

She was lying on the floor covered in blood. The slits on her wrists were still bleeding

"Shit, shit, shit, shit" I grabbed a towel and pressed it into her cuts, trying to stop the blood.

"Stay with me 'Mione" I muttered to myself as the blood soaked through the towel.

Hermione's POV

I woke up.

I didn't want to.

I wanted to leave with him.

To be with him forever.

But I woke up.

"Why, Hermione"

Blaise was sitting in a chair next to my bed.

His head was his hands, "Why would you do that"

I sat up, "I didn't do it. It wasn't me"

"Then who the fuck was it"

I hesitated. I didn't want Blaise to get mad at him.

"You can't do that to yourself" He sighed

"I already told you. I didn't"

"Then who"

"Draco" I mumbled

"Hermione, Draco's dead" He snapped

I whimpered at his harsh tone, "I know. But he was here, he did it. It wasn't me, I swear"

He got up and opened the door, "Don't do that ever again 'Mione"

"It wasn't me"

He sighed, "If you insist" and with that he walked away.

After Blaise left I just sat in my bed staring at the wall.

I ignored Draco, who was trying to convince me to let him cut me

Even though I craved the pain that he could give me, I knew it wasn't right.

I realised that the thing talking to me wasn't Draco.

The real Draco was dead.

A/N Sorry for the really short chapter, I just really wanted to post something. I hope you're enjoying this story so far.


	5. Chapter 5

Hermione's POV

"Leave me alone!" I yelled at 'Draco' and slammed the door in his face.

I sat down at the end of my bed, staring at the door, willing him not to come in.

"Hermione, come on. You want it too, I know you do." He said, sitting down next to me.

"Please stop."

He put his arm around me," Just one?"

I got up shrugging his arm off me.

"Leave me alone."

And then, he was finally gone.

I sighed in relief.

"Thank Merlin" I mumbled to myself.

Then I felt something cold against my wrist and screamed.

He was trying to cut me.

I ran out of my front door and turned into the alleyway beside my house. Warm tears slid down my cheeks, I was so sick of him following me everywhere, he just wouldn't give up.

"Hermione? Where are we?"

He was right there, standing there next to me.

"WHY CAN'T YOU JUST LEAVE ME ALONE FOR MERLIN'S SAKE!"

He looked down at me in shock, "What? Hermione, what's wrong?"

The tears streamed faster, "YOU KNOW PERFECTLY WELL WHAT'S WRONG!" I paused to wipe my tears with the back of my hand, "YOU WON'T LEAVE ME ALONE!"

He pulled me into his arms, "'Mione, please calm down. I don't even know where I am. Just try to explain this to me."

I didn't hug him back, I didn't feel like accepting his fake sympathies.

He seemed to have noticed this, as he let go of me. I immediately sprinted away from him and ended up back in front of my house.

"Hermione" 'Draco' coaxed with a sing-song voice from inside, instinctively I took a step back onto the street.

"I can't reach you when you're outside, come back in here." He shouted to me from the other side of the door.

I suddenly felt a hand on my shoulder, "This is your parent's house, right?"

Draco was standing next to me, but I could still hear him inside.

"I'm not going back in there!" I yelled at him, "I'm not going to fall for your stupid game! You can't make me go back!"

I didn't think, I just ran.

I didn't stop, even when I heard his footsteps.

Even when he yelled at me, begging me to stop.

But eventually he caught up and grabbed my arm, forcing me to come to a standstill.

His fingers ran over my scars, "Hermione, why?"

I pulled my arm free of his grip, "You sound like Blaise when he found me"

He led me away from the middle of the road and onto the sidewalk, "You still haven't answered my question."

I let out a shrill laugh, "I didn't do that" I probably sounded insane... I probably was insane…"You did " I finally said.

Draco's POV

I felt the familiar sharp pain in the back of my head.

Surely she was joking.

I would never hurt her.

I didn't remember doing it.

The last thing I remembered was putting up the wards around the astronomy tower.

Then I was suddenly in the alley next to Hermione's house.

"No." I didn't believe her.

She laughed again, "Yes, you did. Ever since Blaise found me lying on the bathroom floor covered in blood, you've been trying to convince me to let you do it again."

I shook my head in denial, "I would never hurt you."

"Yes, you would! You did these!" She yelled showing her scars, "I hate you! You made me think it was okay! YOU MADE ME WANT THESE!"

Tears streaked her cheeks again.

The pain worsened.

"Hermione, please, I wouldn't do that, you know me"

She scoffed, "No, I don't! I hardly even knew the real Draco! Let alone you"

She turned away from me and started running again.

"Hermione! Wait!" I called after her as she headed towards the park across the road.

I ran, She had a good head-start so I had no choice but to keep running after her as she filled her pockets and shoes with stones and stepped into the lake.

I got closer and closer as she got deeper and deeper

"Hermione!" I yelled again, trying to gain her attention

She didn't stop, she was up to her neck now.

Muggles surrounded the lake, watching on in horror.

But they didn't do anything about, they just watched as she waded to her grave.

I finally reached the lake.

By now her head was far under.

I dived in and saw her lying in the dirt among reeds and fish.

I grabbed her waist and started towards the top.

As soon as we broke the surface she started coughing and spluttering.

We reached the shore, "Why did you save me!? I did what you wanted!" She screamed at me through her sobs

I pulled her close to me, "I don't want you to die. I want you to stay here, with me"

She struggled against my grip and punched at my chest trying to get me to ket go, "No you don't! You tried to kill me yourself! Why couldn't you just let me die and get away from all of this!"

The muggles were crowding around us.

"DON'T YOU ALL HAVE SOMEWHERE BETTER TO BE!" I yelled at them.

They immediately dispersed.

Hermione's POV

I was confused.

This wasn't the thing that had cut me.

He really didn't want to hurt me.

But I wanted to hurt myself...

"I don't want to lose you Hermione" He whispered.

"I've already lost you though..."

"What?"

"You jumped off the Astronomy Tower. You died."

"How do you know. You weren't even there"

"Yes I was, so was Blaise. We were both yelling at you, asking you not to jump"

He raked his fingers through his wet hair, "Look, the last thing I remember was putting up the wards… And then nothing. I have no idea how I'm still alive, I'm guessing it's been more than a year since you rejected me."

"It's been just over two years"

"Holy shit, how am I alive then?"

"I-I don't know, everything I've read on veelas say that they can't survive past their eighteenth birthday without their mate. The only possible explanation I can think of is if you had taken an ageing potion…"

We slipped into a comfortable silence for a while.

"I'm sorry"

"For what?" I asked

"For everything. I'm sorry that I called you a mudblood and bullied you, I'm sorry for ruining your relationship with the Weasel, I'm sorry for making you want to die, like me…"

We walked back to my parents house hand in hand.

This was the Draco I knew.

As we walked into the living room and sat down on the couch, Draco sighed, "So does this imposter look as good as me?"

I hit his shoulder, "I just tried to die and all you're thinking about is how good you look!"

He help up his hands in surrender, "I was only trying to lighten the mood"

"You have no idea what I went through after you jumped!" I felt like screaming. This was definitely the self-centred, egocentric Draco I knew.

"You're right, I don't know"

I took a deep breath, "I hate living, nothing good ever happens. I wish you'd left me at the bottom of the lake..."

He wrapped his arms around me, "Don't say that, good stuff does happen. I mean, I'm here, with you. That's everything I've ever wanted"

I felt my face heat up and looked down at my lap, trying to conceal my blush.

He tilted my chin up with his forefinger, "Can I kiss you?"

My voice was merely a whisper, "Yes"

The same fireworks that I had felt all those years ago erupted in my heart as his lips moved against mine.

His hands tangled in my hair.

It was perfect.

Until...

"Draco?!"

We pulled apart to see Blaise was standing in the doorway, "What the fuck did I just walk in on? And how are you alive?!"

"Uh, well, I-I, we don't really know how he's alive"

"Wait, so you were telling the truth when you said he was the one cutting you" Blaise said as he walked closer to the sofa.

I tucked a stray piece of hair behind my ear, "Not exactly…"

Draco put his arm around me, "Blaise you know I would never hurt her"

"I know. I just still can't believe you're alive. Wait, you are alive, right?"

He chuckled, "Yes Blaise, I am alive"

A/N I hope you enjoyed this chapter, knowing me it'll probably be another month until I update, but I will try my hardest to write as fast and as decent as I can.


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